Calisfriendics
by sapphireswimming
Summary: Lasse bemoans his inability to do a proper pushup in low gravity. Chris has an idea. For the-stray-liger


**For the-stray-liger, who also wishes to see more Lasse content in this world.** **A huge thanks to Laora for beta-ing and Laora's husband for the fantastic title**

 **an important note: after realizing how crucial exercising when living in space, I have concluded that the Ptolemy must have a room with exercise equipment, which would probably be affectionately referred to as the gym. The Resistance Exercise Device (or, the RED) is the most versatile of the three main machines astronauts currently use during their daily workouts**

* * *

 **Calisfriendics**

January 12, 2019

 _For Nat_

* * *

One of the lights on the Ptolemy's front console blinked and the system's chirp announced that the program had completed its diagnostic tests.

Lasse craned his head from side to side until his neck cracked, then yawned and stretched as he stood. "Well," he announced to the bridge at large. "That's it for me."

"Oh, already?" Lichty asked in surprise, turning in his seat to look up at Lasse before glancing to the large digital clock displaying the time in large glowing numbers above him. "That was fast," he muttered.

Chris groaned "I'm still stuck here until this simulation finishes," she said, swinging her chair around.

"Me too," Lichty said.

"And it's going _really slowly_ ," she drew out the last two words, turning back toward the screen just far enough to prompt the next step in the sequence.

"That's rough," Lasse commiserated, hands diving deep into his pockets as he slowly walked up the first step.

"So where are you off to now?" she asked, looking up at him now that he had reached the upper deck. "Or don't tell me," she said, resting her chin in her hand. "Off to the gym again?" she guessed.

"Yup," he said happily, interlacing his fingers and pressing them out in a long stretch.

"The gym! The gym!" the Haro docked next to Feldt shouted, flapping its ears as it energetically bobbed from side to side.

Lichty shook his head. "Why do you keep going there, man?" he asked, turning around to kneel in his seat where he crossed his arms on the top of the chair so he could see everyone. "It's like you spend all of your free time there."

"No free time with us," Chris mock pouted. "Ditching us for the RED every day."

Lasse shrugged lazily. "You guys could come too, you know," he offered.

Chris and Lichty pulled identical faces.

"What?" Lasse asked.

"It's just… you know," Lichty said, bobbing his head from side to side. "We go when we have it on our schedules because we have to but then after that we're done for the day. We're free. We don't need to do it anymore. But you…" he trailed off.

Chris jumped in to pick up his thread of thought. "That's what you _like_ to do in your free time. I don't really get it, either," she said, shaking her head.

Lasse pondered this for a moment. "I mean, it's not nearly as satisfying as working out on Earth," he admitted. "Can't even get a decent pushup in up here—"

"No," Chris laughed. "I meant like… working out for fun at _all_. That's been my least favorite part about living in space."

"Oh!" he said in surprise. "Oh, gotcha. Uh, I dunno," he hitched up a shoulder. "Habit, I guess."

"Habit?" Chris parroted doubtfully, looking him up and down.

"What," Lichty asked, laughing, "were you some kind of health nut or body builder or something before you joined Celestial Being?"

"Careful," Feldt murmured her warning without looking away from her work. Everyone else automatically glanced over to the door out of habit, but to their relief, it was closed, so no one else could hear that their conversation had veered dangerously close to revealing personal information about their pasts.

Instead of leaving the question hanging, however, Lasse grinned at Lichty and said, "Yeah, _or something_."

"But still," Chris said with a wave of her hand. "We're in space, now! Time to create some new habits. Get some new hobbies."

"Uh huh," Lasse said slowly, unconvinced, as he crossed his arms. "And you're expecting me to do what instead, exactly?"

"Uhhhhhhhh…" Chris blinked as the question put her on the spot.

"Photography?" Lasse threw out dismissively. "Crocheting? Low gravity _juggling_?"

Lichty actually perked up at that last one, mouth opening like he was going to say something. Before he had a chance, Lasse continued, "Yeah, that's what I thought. Besides," he added, more seriously now, "working out is a lot more important up here than it is on the surface. It's not just for fun. I'm a backup pilot for our mobile armor, remember?"

Feldt looked over in surprise. "I didn't think it was finished, yet."

"Well," Lasse blustered for a moment. "Maybe not, but that doesn't mean I can slack off. It's part of my job to be as ready as the meisters are."

"And yet," Chris pointed out. "I don't see them working out nearly as much as you."

"They have other training that I don't get," Lasse said. "I have to make up for that so I don't fall behind."

She put her hands up in surrender. "Fine, so you don't have to get a new hobby," she said. Lasse looked like he was about to make a sarcastic comeback, but she continued, "But it would be nice if you hung out with us more."

Beside her, Feldt nodded solemnly.

"I just want us to hang out more," she said again. "Be better friends, you know? Since we're going to be working together for a while."

"Yeah!" Lichty said, chin now resting on top of his chair. "We _are_ supposed to be a team."

Lasse sighed. "Maybe some other time," he hedged. "But the gym is next on my schedule. If you can figure out a way to do that better by hanging out, come let me know, I guess," he said, walking past Miss Sumeragi's chair.

"Actually," Chris said before he could pass her too.

He stopped, but immediately regretted it when he saw the grin spreading across her face.

"I might have an idea."

Sighing, he gruffly asked, "Well, what is it?"

"Well," she said. "I was just thinking that like, you were saying you can't do a proper pushup up here, right?"

"Right," he crossed his arms again and nodded. "There isn't enough resistance in the low gravity. Last time I tried doing a clap pushup, I just started floating."

Lichty snickered until Lasse pinned him with a glare.

"Right, right," Chris said quickly, eagerly, and he returned his attention to her as she seemed to get fired up by whatever her idea was. "Well, so, then the obvious solution would be to add more weight, right?"

He narrowed his eyes. "Yeah, I guess?" he tentatively agreed. "But where are you going with this? It's not like we have extra weights just lying around…"

Dumbbells were so useless in space that he hadn't even bothered to bring his, and there wasn't really a way to do pushups while hooked up to the RED. He'd tried.

"I was just thinking I could sit on you while you do your pushups!" she broke in brightly.

He stared at her for a moment, initially unsure if she was joking or not, but rapidly doing the mental calculations anyway. He shook his head. "It wouldn't be nearly enough."

"But I could get on too!" Lichty volunteered from behind him, sounding incredibly excited at the prospect. "And – and Feldt! And she could hold Haro. That would add a little something!" he said. "Plus, if some of the meisters are free, we could try roping them in—"

Chris started laughing. "We'd never be able to fit that many people on Lasse," she told him.

"Besides, who else would even agree to that, anyway?" Lasse asked dismissively.

But Feldt stopped typing long enough to hold up her hand. "I would," she said.

And Lasse looked around at them, suddenly realizing that he was in a room with three people who would absolutely have the time of their lives sitting on top of him while he was doing pushups.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a long sigh because Lichty had already stood up out of his chair and Chris was grinning widely at Feldt who had fully turned away from her monitor for the first time during this entire conversation.

"So… I guess this is happening, then?" he asked wearily.

"Yup!" Chris said as Lichty joined them on the upper half of the bridge and they all stared at Lasse expectantly. "No getting out of it," she warned.

"What, right here?" he asked in surprise, looking around at the scant floor space in front of the door.

Chris nodded. "That way, those of us on duty can still keep an eye on our monitors."

"Not that anything's likely to flare up, of course," Lichty assured him. "But, you know, just in case. Don't want anyone yelling at us for leaving the Ptolemy unmanned!" he laughed nervously. "Even when we're cruising on autopilot."

Lasse leveled a look at him and said, "You know what? I really don't think this is going to be a good ide—"

"It'll be _fine_ ," Chris assured him, reaching out to pat him on the arm. "The only things we're doing are simulations." She steered him a few feet closer to the door. "Now, pick a spot and we'll all arrange ourselves accordingly," she said, clasping her gloved hands behind her back and rocking back and forth on her feet expectantly.

He stared at her, wondering if there was any way he could still reasonably get out of this, but eventually realized that there wasn't. Finally, he knelt down so that his feet were by the door and assumed a perfect planking position parallel to the bank of monitors and controls.

"Are you sure you'll be able to support all of us?" Feldt asked before any of them moved.

Lasse looked up, shrugging as much as he could with both arms on the floor. "We'll just take it one at a time and see how it goes. I'm more worried about you all keeping your balance, to be honest."

"Alright," Chris said, as if convincing herself that there was nothing to worry about as she carefully sat down on top of him. "Is this good?" she asked.

"Move a little further down," he said, craning his neck over his shoulder. "You need to leave my shoulders clear."

"Oh, right, of course!" she said, scooting down a few inches. "Better?"

"Yeah," he said, already looking up to Feldt and Lichty. "Okay, who's next?"

"I'll go!" Lichty offered, quickly stepping over Lasse and tentatively sitting down behind Chris. "How- how about this? Is it okay?" he asked, both of his hands in the air and staring around like he could tell what was going on.

"Ooph," Lasse groaned once he got Lichty's full weight. "What are you, an elephant?" he asked, rearranging his stance for better balance.

"Wha—? No!" he blustered through his denial. "I—am I too heavy for you?" he asked, worried, as he quickly stood up again.

"No, you're fine," Lasse said. "It's just that Chris didn't feel like anything so I wasn't expecting a twig like you to be any different."

Lichty laughed nervously, one hand rubbing the back of his neck. "Sorry about that! I'll just uh—"

"Just sit back down," Lasse interrupted his rambling before calling, "Okay, Feldt, your turn."

"With or without Haro?" she asked.

Lasse glanced up at the robot. Pulled a face. "Whichever," he said. "With," he revised a second later. "Might as well."

She grabbed Haro off the console and it flapped in excitement in her hands as she surveyed her options. "It's okay if I sit on your legs?"

"Unless you pull a Lichty," he said.

"Hey!" Lichty protested and Feldt stood beside him, unsure of where to go.

"Yeah, it's fine," Lasse assured her, wedging his feet a little more solidly against the door to give her a little more room to balance. She very carefully sat down, back-to-back with Lichty, Haro nestled against her knees, and one hand around Lasse's leg for stability.

"Okay," Lasse said, "Everyone hold on so you don't go flying off."

Lichty fumbled for a good grip, changing his mind about where his hands should go for a few seconds before one finally went around Lasse's side and the other gently held onto Chris' shoulder. He grinned at her as they waited to begin.

"You okay?" Chris asked Lasse, poking her head off to the side.

"Yep," he said, slowly rising to a proper starting position as everyone jostled on top of him.

"We're not too heavy for you?" she asked as they came to a stop.

Lasse huffed a laugh at that. "You're actually going to be a pretty good weight for this, I think," he said, dipping for the first time, elbows bowing out to each side until his nose nearly touched the floor.

"Whoa!" Lichty said as they came back up. "You're doing it!"

"You sound like you're… doubting me there, Lichty," he said as he dipped and rose again.

"No," he denied emphatically. "I—I just. This is really cool!" Lichty said, wobbling a fraction as they went down again. "You're doing pushups with all four of us on your back. That's awesome!" he grinned.

Lasse's laugh barely jostled them now that they'd grown accustomed to the movement.

"So how many do you think you can do with all of us?" Chris suddenly asked, a minute later.

"I dunno," he said. "I've never really done any pushups in space to speak of," he admitted.

"Could you do 100?" Lichty asked.

Lasse paused long enough to side eye Lichty. Chris turned to look at him too.

"What?" he asked defensively. "You do like sets of 100 squats on the RED every day," he said. "I thought that would be perfectly do-able."

"Well," Lasse grinned. "I guess there's only one way to find out," as he resumed his pushups. "That's fourteen," he said.

"Fifteen," Feldt breathed as he did the next one and Lichty swiveled to look at her. Chris had to grab onto Lasse with both hands to steady them both.

"Come on, guys," Lasse said, letting out a breath as he went down. Pushed back up. "Can't have my weights falling off me or I _won't_ be able to make it to 100."

"Okay, okay, I'll sit still!" Lichty assured him as Lasse fell into a steady rhythm of up and down, down and up, and Feldt kept a quiet count.

Lasse's stamina didn't seem to falter no matter how many he did. The muscles in his arms worked fluidly with every repetition, but he was still going strong and they still hadn't started to shake as he hit fifty.

"Half way there!" Lichty shouted enthusiastically.

"You got this!" Chris exclaimed, patting him on the back.

"Yeah, easy for you do say," he grunted, locking his elbows and resting for a moment to take an extra couple breaths.

"Oh, no, come on, you can do it!" she said. "You got this!"

"Yeah, come on, Lasse!" Lichty encouraged.

They watched in barely concealed excitement as he resumed his pushups, biceps visibly flexing and extending through his black shirt with each one. They could feel him deeply breathing out every time he lowered them and in whenever they all came back up.

They let loose again with their encouragement when he'd reached seventy.

"See?" Lichty was asking. "Seventy percent of the way there! Only thirty more! Three more reps of ten!"

Chris choked on her laugher. "Oh my god," she said, turning back to him. "Why would that be encouraging?" she asked, but he ignored her, because they were already approaching seventy-five.

As soon as Feldt counted it off, Lichty lifted one hand to pump it in the air. "Yeah! Three fourths of the way done! In the home stretch now!"

"Not sure it's… quite to the home stretch… yet," Lasse said, breathing hard now. Sweat was beading on his forehead, under his arms.

"When would that be?" Lichty asked.

"Maybe… after… eighty-five or so."

"Uhhh…" Lichty faltered for a second before laughing. "Alright, if you say so!"

He joined in with Feldt on the count as they climbed up the seventies. "Seventy seven! Seventy eight! Seventy nine!"

"Eighty!" came even louder as Chris joined in too.

"Geez, you guys…" Lasse shook his head but was smiling broadly as he quickly resumed his pushups.

The four of them combined were turning out to be an impressive weight, even in the Ptolemy's low gravity and it had been a long time since he'd used these specific muscle groups at the same time. The RED was extremely versatile, but there was still no substitute for a good, old-fashioned pushup in Earth's gravity.

His arms were straining with that deep burn, now, each time he lowered himself to the ground. His palms were sweaty against the smooth tiled floor. He readjusted them so he didn't accidentally wipe out and take everyone with him.

"Eighty nine!" everyone was shouting now, getting louder with each consecutive number. "Ninety! Ninety one!"

But then there was a noise on the other side of the door, which began to slide open. It caught on Lasse's feet where he'd anchored them for support and Feldt began falling through his legs. Haro rolled off her lap and tumbled across the floor wailing, "Mayday! Mayday!"

"Whoa!" Lasse exclaimed as he and Chris and Lichty unceremoniously fell to a heap on the floor, limbs all tangled up in each other.

There was a moment of silence and then they all looked up to see who had come onto the bridge.

Miss Sumeragi was standing above them, one hand resting on the open doorframe, mouth hanging open as she took in the scene.

"Uh, hi, Miss Sumeragi!" Lichty laughed, finally managing to extricate his hand enough to wave at her.

She blinked down at them. Several times. And then closed her mouth with an audible snap. "Nope," she said, turning round. "Whatever this was, I don't want to know."

With a kick, she pushed off of the doorway and turned to go back the way she'd come.

They all stared as she went then broke down into peals of laughter as soon as the door hissed shut behind her.


End file.
